Dear Friends,
This week I learned something that was very hard to swallow. Well, I suppose it wasn't as if it came as a drastic surprise, but rather I have been refusing to acknowledge the truth. You see, these past two-ish weeks have been very hard for me. I have felt abandon and unimportant. It appeared to me like everyone I knew and loved had something way more important to deal with, and therefore they didn't have the time of day to even notice how hurt I was. However, the real issue was not their lack of loving support, but rather my over dependence in humans. All my trust and dependence ought to be in God my Father! Not my family or friends...
This is something I have struggled greatly with all my life. I desperately seek affirmation and attention from people rather than God. Perhaps you may find this surprising, but the truth is I have a low self esteem. Very low at times. I struggle with my worth over the littlest of things. But my worth is in my Savior who bought me with an incomparable price!
So friends, please pray for me. Pray that I allow God to truly be Lord over my life. Pray that I depend on Him for every need, including the emotional ones. Pray that I will fervently seek after Jesus Christ, because that is the only way that I will feel like I belong.
In Christ,
Hannah
Monday, July 25, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
A Blessing in Disguise...
Dear Friends,
This week God has opened my eyes to this truly amazing blessing He has given me. This blessing is one that I had contemplated before. However this blessing is in a disguise of chaos and familiarity, and I have not been as grateful as I am now.
My family has tripled in size since I was born. We have lived in ten different houses in my lifetime. My parents have had multiple job changes. Life has brought us many adventures and challenges.
And through all of these changes my family has only been encouraged through their beliefs. They still believe in the Bible. They still believe in the power of prayer. And they still believe in Jesus Christ.
Although my family has had its share of difficulties and stress, they have always stuck together. My parents are still alive, together, and in love. My siblings are all healthy and growing. And, honestly, life is pretty good.
My parents have trained my up in the way that is godly. They have always encouraged me to follow God and to do what is right. Although they have made mistakes, they have always loved me and truly wanted the best for me.
This is one of greatest things God has blessed me with. I cannot even explain how grateful I am that my family loves the Lord and encourages me to do the same.
Hannah
This week God has opened my eyes to this truly amazing blessing He has given me. This blessing is one that I had contemplated before. However this blessing is in a disguise of chaos and familiarity, and I have not been as grateful as I am now.
My family has tripled in size since I was born. We have lived in ten different houses in my lifetime. My parents have had multiple job changes. Life has brought us many adventures and challenges.
And through all of these changes my family has only been encouraged through their beliefs. They still believe in the Bible. They still believe in the power of prayer. And they still believe in Jesus Christ.
Although my family has had its share of difficulties and stress, they have always stuck together. My parents are still alive, together, and in love. My siblings are all healthy and growing. And, honestly, life is pretty good.
My parents have trained my up in the way that is godly. They have always encouraged me to follow God and to do what is right. Although they have made mistakes, they have always loved me and truly wanted the best for me.
This is one of greatest things God has blessed me with. I cannot even explain how grateful I am that my family loves the Lord and encourages me to do the same.
Hannah
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Regret
Dear Friends,
As many of you know, today was my last day at Steak n Shake. Although I did indeed love my job as a waitress, I would be lying to say that I was sad to leave today. I truly enjoy the people interaction that I got as a waitress. I loved serving people, giving them what they asked for, and making them smile. However, I did not always agree with everything that happened in the back. Not that I'm saying anything against Steak n Shake corporation. I just did not always get along with my coworkers. They had all been friends long before I was there, they all were at a different stages at life, and they lived a lifestyle that I simply could not relate with.
All this not to complain, but rather to provide some background for rest of this blog. Today was one of the worst days that I had there. I was fairly tired and we were understaffed. The stress of the day was building throughout the day and it was tough. It was not the kind of last day that I had foreseen. So when I was finally able to go home I was ecstatic. But...after being home for awhile, thinking about today and my year and a half at SnS I started to get upset.
I spent a year and a half with these coworkers...but never did I share the gospel with them. They knew I was 'religious'. The often made comments about how 'innocent' or 'good' I was, but I am not just a 'good religious person...I have a personal relationship with the Almighty Creator God. What a waste of my time! A year and a half of wasted relationships. Sure there were some hard days, some much harder than others. There were many times that I got very frustrated with those I worked with, however there is not one of them that I would want to live or die without knowing the good news. I was not very close with them, but I had chances.
I pray that I will not ever again look back on a year and a half of my life and feel the regret that I have now. My prayer is that I will be able to live my life in a way that declares the Truth, and that the Holy Spirit will give me the courage to verbally lay out the Gospel when He leads.
In Christ,
Hannah
As many of you know, today was my last day at Steak n Shake. Although I did indeed love my job as a waitress, I would be lying to say that I was sad to leave today. I truly enjoy the people interaction that I got as a waitress. I loved serving people, giving them what they asked for, and making them smile. However, I did not always agree with everything that happened in the back. Not that I'm saying anything against Steak n Shake corporation. I just did not always get along with my coworkers. They had all been friends long before I was there, they all were at a different stages at life, and they lived a lifestyle that I simply could not relate with.
All this not to complain, but rather to provide some background for rest of this blog. Today was one of the worst days that I had there. I was fairly tired and we were understaffed. The stress of the day was building throughout the day and it was tough. It was not the kind of last day that I had foreseen. So when I was finally able to go home I was ecstatic. But...after being home for awhile, thinking about today and my year and a half at SnS I started to get upset.
I spent a year and a half with these coworkers...but never did I share the gospel with them. They knew I was 'religious'. The often made comments about how 'innocent' or 'good' I was, but I am not just a 'good religious person...I have a personal relationship with the Almighty Creator God. What a waste of my time! A year and a half of wasted relationships. Sure there were some hard days, some much harder than others. There were many times that I got very frustrated with those I worked with, however there is not one of them that I would want to live or die without knowing the good news. I was not very close with them, but I had chances.
I pray that I will not ever again look back on a year and a half of my life and feel the regret that I have now. My prayer is that I will be able to live my life in a way that declares the Truth, and that the Holy Spirit will give me the courage to verbally lay out the Gospel when He leads.
In Christ,
Hannah
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